Anti Bullying Tips
Definition of Bullying: A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons. One of the key elements of bullying is that there is a real or perceived imbalance of power between the bully and the victim. The imbalance of power can be physical or psychological and hinders the victim from defending himself. The bully is trying to assert his/her power over the victim. Another key element is that the behavior is intentional. The bully is purposely choosing actions that will hurt or intimidate the victim. A final key element is that there are unequal levels of affect. The victim will typically display emotional distress such as sadness, crying, withdrawal, or anxiousness. The bully will demonstrate very little emotion or anguish and will typically feel justified in their actions.
Strategies to use if you are being bullied:
HELP: Seek help from an adult when a potentially threatening situation arises. Seek help if other strategies aren't working.
Assert Yourself: Make assertive statements to the bully addressing the bully's behavior. Example: Use "I" statements - "I don't like it when you pull on my backpack." This should not be used with severe bullying and it is not as effective with group bullying.
Humor: Use humor in a positive way to de-escalate a situation. Make the joke about what the bully said and not about the bully.
Avoid: Walk away and avoid the bully. Join with others so that you are not alone in the presence of the bully.
Self-Talk: Use positive self-talk to maintain positive self-esteem during a bullying situation. Use this as a means to keep feeling good about yourself and to avoid being "hooked" into a confrontation with the bully. Example: "He is the one with the problem." "He does not know what he is talking about." "I know that I am smart."
Own It: "Own" the put-down or belittling comment in order to diffuse it. Agree with the bully and leave the situation. Combine with humor strategy or an assertive strategy. Example: "Yeah, this is a bad haircut. The lawn mower got out of control this weekend."
If the strategies are not working, leave the situation and seek help as soon as possible. It is very important to get help and support in dealing with a bullying situation from friends and adults.
Strategies to use if you see someone else being bullied:
The silent majority needs to become the caring majority. So you need to speak up about the bullying either by taking a stand publicly that this behavior is not right or privately telling an adult what is going on.
Show care, concern, and support for the victim of the bullying. Use extra effort to include them.
Encourage creative and peaceful problem-solving.
Strategies for parents:
Model caring and kind behaviors for your children - remember your actions speak much louder than your words.
Appreciate and reward caring behaviors. Make it clear to your children that you value behaviors and choices which contribute to peaceful and nonviolent problem-solving and focus on "catching" them doing caring acts.
Teach about bullying and the importance of taking a stand against it.
Monitor your child's involvement with violence in the media.
If your child is the victim of bullying, listen carefully to your child's report, praise them for their courage to report what has happened, get the necessary information - who, what, when, where, and how often, help your child practice strategies to avoid victimization, boost your child's self-esteem, and determine the seriousness of the situation and contact appropriate school personnel such as your child's counselor or the administrators.
Websites: www.pbs.org/seekingsolutions
www.education.unisa.edu.au/bullying
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This site was last updated on: Monday, January 28, 2008 09:26 PM