Conflict Resolution Skills

Here are some skills that will help prevent and resolve a conflict peacefully!

1.  Check your emotions.  Are you angry or experiencing another intense emotion?  It is hard to think clearly and communicate well when you are flooded with emotions.  Use some calming techniques such as positive self-talk to bring your emotions under control so you can focus on resolving the conflict.

2.  Analyze the conflict.  Ask yourself:  "What do I want to change?"  "What is my relationship with the other person?"  "What are my issues in this conflict?"

3. Communicate with the other person.  The importance of what you say and how you say it can not be stressed enough.  Each person gets a chance to explain his/her perspective of the conflict without being interrupted.  The speaker may want to use "I" statements to express his or her viewpoint.  Example:  "I feel sad when you do not sit next to me at lunch."  The listener should listen with an open mind and without interrupting.  Then the roles should be switched so that each person gets a chance to talk and a chance to listen.  Remember to treat each person's feelings with respect, keep calm and keep a calm tone of voice, no name-calling or blaming, and accept responsibility for all of your actions. 

4.  Identify and focus on the problem.  Each person needs to state clearly what they think the problem is.  Focus on the identified problem or problems, do not bring up the past. 

5.  Search for solutions.  Suggest all possible ideas to solve the problem.  Don't judge the ideas - just put them on a list to be discussed.

6.  Choose a Win-Win Solution.  Now is the time to evaluate which idea or ideas will best resolve the conflict to everyone's satisfaction.  Decide which solutions work best for both of you.

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This site was last updated on: Monday, January 28, 2008 09:26 PM